...and here I am

I have been thinking an awful lot recently about how much I miss writing. So here I am.


To be perfectly honest, I don't feel I have anything to write about, but I know that once I begin, it will come.


Lately I've been feeling a bit, you know, blah. Not desperately unhappy, just not happy. This is my issue and I know it in my heart. What is it about human nature that makes us believe outside influences have any bearing on the way we feel? Why do we allow that?


I don't know about you, but I think that society as a whole needs to stop believing that when we reach our goals is when we should be happy. I'm not blaming my upbringing or anyone else here - I'm a big girl now and I make my own decisions about what I believe. Sometimes, though, it can be so easy to be sucked into that "when I get" mentality.


This is the mentality that causes big problems in my life. It's something I've been arguing with and fighting to get control of in the last few weeks. I'll be honest, it's mostly financial, and that is a recurring theme in my life. I struggle to know what my blocks are with this.


I do know how to fix it though (and why don't I you ask??), and that is with gratitude and appreciation. So again, here I am.


I have a squillion things to love and appreciate about my life - not in the least is that I can write. I can use the process of writing it down to get it clear in my overloaded head. That's a blessing for me. I don't journal in pretty notebooks (I adore pretty notebooks and own plenty, but I use them for life ideas mainly - it's fun to go through them!), but I love to blog. Maybe it's because I'm a show-off :)


I love the look of my blog. I love that it's so pretty. My life wants to be pretty like my blog. Writing helps me make life beautiful for me. Blogging regularly is on my "get to do" list, and again, here I am.


Will you look at that - nothing to write about, but a (short) post nonetheless. Gotta have faith.

Digging Deeper

I'm excavating.

I'm delving way back into the deep dark recesses of my childhood and my mind. Taking responsibility for all that has happened and all that will.

It's not a particularly easy task, yet easier than I expected - I should have done it a long time ago, however perhaps I wasn't quite ready. Now, it seems, I am.

I am discovering things about myself I never dreamed. Not good, not bad. Just me.

I realise there is no one to forgive. All I need to do is take responsibility for my thoughts, conscious and unconscious. They are what formed my life.
The ghosts of my childhood are suddenly understood and it's a relief.

I am all I need. No one else is responsible for my happiness. I am free to be authentic. I can be me. Liberated, unapologetic and fabulous.

Today I believe that if I have the following in my life I have all I need...

Love; red shoes; faded florals; gerberas; the seaside; patchwork quilts; a bathtub to soak in; hot air balloons; scented candles; vintage linens; books; strawberries on french toast; clear blue skies; libraries; cottage gardens; perfume; champagne; Paris and all manner of fripperies and fancies.

I'm re-discovering the things I love haven't changed - the woman who loves them however, is changing rather much for the better.

Falling in love with my authentic self all over again.

Tuesday-itis!

I'm feeling a bit "blah" this morning.
Fortunately I know I have a choice these days of whether to continue feeling this way or not. I will choose to feel better - I just have to get up and do something about it!

I think it might be because I have been away from home for so long. I'm a homebody, I love my home, my bed, my kids. I've been away since Dec 21st, and although it's been almost like a holiday I'm so ready for it to be over! Only 2 more days, so I can manage it :)

So for the next two days I'll take advantage of the quiet and having no phone reception, and read, read, read. I've made a decision to read only helpful, positive or motivational books this year, and I think that will make a difference to the quality of my life on a day to day basis.

I'm currently reading The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks, which opening up a whole new perspective for me on the relationships we enter in to. I am getting a lot out of it and it is changing the way I look at people - which means I can make better decisions about those I allow into my life.

Next on the list is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. An amazing book by an amazing man. I have listened to it before, but now I have my own copy to read over and over!
Napoleon Hill is the grand-daddy of all the self-made entrepreneurs around these days. He truly is incredible. Recommended reading!

Choices

Interesting things happen when you make the choice to be a positive person.


Your world kind of expands for one. You see more opportunities, you feel more joy, you come into contact with more people, you hear more love.


I guess your awareness expands.


It goes both ways too. You notice when people are being negative. This is something I'd only noticed when it was really bad. You know, when someone was really banging the drum about how sucky their life was.


These days I notice when someone says the littlest thing. I also notice pretty quickly when I am starting to head down that road, which is great, because I can turn the car around before I get stuck in the bitch ditch.


You see, it's all a choice. You can choose how you feel, act or react.
You can choose to feel good, or you can choose to moan and groan about how miserable things are. I don't know about you, but if I'm focused on misery, that's generally how I feel.
When I'm focused on happiness, I feel it.


Sounds simple, and it actually is.
Be aware of your words, and your thoughts. Make it a habit. Hang out with positive people.


Make the choice to feel good, and it won't be long before you feel fantastic!

2011

If I had to pick one trait to work on in my personality for this year, it would be self-discipline. In fact it IS self-discipline.
I've spent too many years making excuses for myself and I'm over it!

I am an intelligent woman who has made some very unintelligent decisions in her life. And it's those decisions that have led me to where I am today, which isn't where I want to be anymore.

I will learn to act, rather than react. I will stand in the Choice Gap before I make decisions from now on. There will be thought put into my life, instead of blindly doing what feels good at the time.
I'm happy to work hard to get what I want. I can forego the instant gratification, and make the decision that will make a positive impact on my life.

There are changes a-coming people. I hope I can inspire you to make the choices that will lead to your best life too!

Your Best Self

So we are coming to the end of another year.

How many people will be out there making resolutions they know in the back of their minds they won't keep past January 15th?  Are you going to be one of those people - or will you plan your thoughts and goals so that you know you will succeed?

My thoughts are this:

Think in the positive - always!

Find people to help you. At the very least don't hang out with the people who (for whatever reason) don't want you to succeed. Work out who those people are - possibly they are the ones who love you most.

You can tell people your goals or not tell them - you will know who will support you and who won't.

Make a plan, write it down. Break it down into to small, manageable pieces.

Reward yourself when you reach your goal - but don't make the reward a sabotage. ie: if your goal is to be slim, don't reward yourself with food :)

Believe in yourself.
Believe in yourself.
Believe in yourself.

I wish for you an amazing year filled with wins and personal bests.
I believe you can do it. I believe I can do it. So lets go forward and make 2011 the year of our Best Selves!

Miss Positivity

It's funny how when you really start focusing on positive things, not only does life become a little easier and happier, but you really start to listen and take note how others think and speak...I have noticed that some people are very rigid and judgemental of anything they wouldn't do themselves, some are constantly talking about how bad things are, others are whining about their lives constantly, and others are being victims.

Now, I'm not perfect (by any means!), but I'm grateful for what I have, I try and remember to take responsibility for my life, and yes, when things get rough, it's hard not to get into that "poor me" mindset.

But at the end of the day, positivity attracts more positivity into your life.

The mind doesn't realise that those big dreams of yours aren't real, so go ahead and daydream that you are successful, happy, and driving around in a cute, red convertible (if that's what you want - it's what I want!).
Let it make you happy and have fun with it.
Be mindful of your thoughts and words for just one day and see if it doesn't make a difference...

Just Wondering

Here's a question.

Is it possible for an ordinary person like you or I (well we are all extraordinary...) to change ourselves. To invent a whole new life?

Almost like Madonna, or Britney.
But without the resources.
And in a more in-depth way, not just a physical transformation, but an emotional one. A new life, one that has been given a lot of thought and most likely a super-human amount of effort too.

Does it require massive changes? Such as moving to a different state or even country? Or can you do it at home?
Will your friends and family accept it, or will they insist you stay in your pigeon hole, because that is where they are comfortable to have you.
And are all these thoughts because, once again I am bored with my life? Lol...

Freedom

I find it interesting that one small occurence in a person's life can sometimes have a profound effect on the rest of their life, on their actions, on their thoughts.

That something tiny and seemingly insignificant can set you free, within yourself.

It's an incredible thing, to feel free, and not something that everyone experiences within their lifetime.
It is a state of mind, rather than a physical thing. It is a feeling of relief, of a weight being lifted. It's light as a feather...
It is a feeling that you can do anything you want. Be anyone you want, and the whole world is laid out in front of you, purely for your pleasure.

What to do first?

Do what it is you want to do.

Do what it is you want to do.

Do what it is you want to do.

Go out and experience the things you have always wanted to try. You may love, laugh or cry, but the knowledge that you have taken a chance on your life - that alone is worth any risk.

Be free and fly.

Musings on Love

Do you subscribe to the view that love is a romantic proposition, full of hearts and flowers, or do you believe (as I am starting to) that in the end, falling in love is another deal we make.

Let's face it, we all have things we want out of a relationship - and if a potential partner doesn't have the qualities we feel are most important to us, we cut our losses and move on, right?

Have you been, or are you , in a relationship where you aren't getting the things you want and need from your partner? Are you trading lack of emotional intimacy for money or prestige?
I have been reading that we are happier in relationships where we are pretty similar to our partner - where one is not superior in any way to the other...And after some thought I would have to agree - we are probably better off being with someone reasonably similar to ourselves...to a degree.

I'm not sure I think that money has so much to do with it, as values, morals and goals in life.I know that when (or if) I enter into another relationship, I want to be with someone who doesn't think I'm too crazy for having the dreams I do, for wanting to live the life I do, and who supports me in being the person that I am.
To do that he would have to be aligned with me on some level yes?
And I would like to be all that to him as well, and to feel that I can morally do that, without feeling out of alignment with myself.

Any thoughts?

The Choice of Happiness

I guess by now, you've heard the saying that happiness is a choice.

In my experience, the choice is to remember what brings you happiness. Those stolen moments of bliss that make you pause and say "aah."

What tiny things in your everyday enchant you and bring a smile to your face - if you let them?

For me it's about finding the romance in the ordinary.

If I allow it to, the simple act of hanging laundry under cloudless blue skies affords me the most glorious feeling that all is right in my world.

A glimpse of red and white polkadotted anything makes me smile.

Libraries, sun-warmed fruit straight from the tree, cupcakes.

All simple pleasures, and all happiness triggers for me.

Take a few minutes to remember your bliss today.

Feeling Bliss

Bliss. That feeling we all crave.

What is it exactly?

It's pure joy, love and adventure all rolled into one.

It's the feeling you get when you are doing what you love to do. It's when you are so focused on the moment that nothing else can get in. Your thoughts are on the task at hand and nothing else matters to you. You feel calm and happy.

That's bliss.

So, can we get that feeling more than once every now and then? Oh yes! And it isn't too difficult to do either, but it does require that you make a commitment to yourself.

A commitment to look for the joy in your day. A commitment to taking time for yourself to quiet your mind a little. A commitment to being true to who you really are. (You may need to dig a little to find this out - it gets buried very early in life!)

Meditation is a wonderful thing and can be life-changing.

Try taking five minutes to close your eyes and focus on your breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

When your thoughts start clamouring for your attention, acknowledge them and then re-focus on your breath. In and out.

The more you practise, the easier it will become. Like anything. It's so definitely worth it though - for the calm it brings if nothing else. But as you continue, you'll find that you gain more clarity and insight about your life, allowing you to make better decisions for yourself.

When you are making good decisions based on what is best for you, then bliss isn't too far behind. Feel it, appreciate it and love it. It will come back to visit you more often if you do, and you will find that your days are more blissful and beautiful than not.

I wish you your bliss.

Let Go & Feel the Flow

Do you ever get the feeling you're in your own way?

As human beings, we spend an awful lot of time trying to control things. Usually things we have no control over, like what someone else thinks of us.

Trying to control others is like trying to control the ocean. Actually it's exactly the same. It's attempting to control things external to you. It doesn't work, yet so many of us insist on expending a whole lot of energy on it.

What anyone else thinks, feels or does, has nothing to do with your reality. This little gem dropped into my inbox yesterday:

"If you could actually stand in someone else's shoes, to hear what they hear, see what they see, and feel what they feel, you would honestly wonder what planet they live on, and be totally blown away by how different their "reality" is from yours.

You'd also never, in a million years, be quick to judge again."

Interesting huh?

To change your life, your reality, doesn't depend on others. To make a difference all you need to do is change your thoughts and perceptions. If you come at things from a point of love, rather than hate. From abundance not lack. From giving, not selfishness. If you can do these things, your outlook will change.
Focus on the good in your life and more of that will come. Focus on the bad and again, more of that will appear.

Stop trying to control that which you have no control over and feel the frustration ebb away. Get out of your own way and feel the flow start to come back into your life.

Most of all have fun with your life - that is what you are here for!

When Taking Time Leads to Greater Things

Last week, I had a day that wasn't going so great. I was getting that feeling - you know, stressed and almost panicky.

I got up, and grabbed a few things: bottle of water, ipod with motivation, current book, journal and pen, and favourite quilt.

I am lucky enough to live a mere 20 minutes drive away from Mt Tamborine - one of the lovelier spots on our planet.
I went off to the the botanic gardens there, and just took some time to be.

I spent about two hours listening to some fantastic motivational teachings, writing in my journal and lying in the sun. It was just the tonic I needed, and I am incredibly grateful that I have the opportunity to take the time to do these things for myself.

Once I got home, I was feeling a hundred percent better. Funnily enough not half an hour later I received a phone call offering me a fabulous working opportunity, that puts me in a place I need to be to achieve my personal goals over the next 2 to 4 years.

As you can imagine I was feeling really great after that!

So when things are getting on top of you, if it's at all possible, take some time out to reflect, meditate and get grateful for what you have. I believe it's these things that change our attitudes and open doors for us.

Take the time to breathe, take the time to open your mind as well as your eyes. Look at everything as an opportunity to learn.

Love your life.

Trust

I have been musing about trust recently. Not for any particular reason, just contemplating it and looking at it.

Trust is something incredibly important to me.
It has to be the basis of any relationship I have, whether with a lover, friend or my children.

I need to know that I can trust the people I love to not lie to me, and to do the best they know how within our relationship.

But even more important than trusting others, is the need to trust myself.

For if I don't have faith in myself, how can I possibly have faith in another?
I have to trust myself to do the right thing for the best life.
I have to believe that I'm always doing the right thing for myself.

On the whole I'm pretty honest with myself - I may not shout out my weaknesses to the world, but I'm well aware of them all the same, and trying my best to work with them and turn them into strengths.
If I deny that part of me, I'm saying those character traits are bad, and I don't believe that, they are a part of me, and I'm not bad.
We all have elements of light and dark within our personalities. The trick is to accept the dark, and treat yourself gently and with love.

Trust yourself to know what's best for you - you know yourself better than anyone else on this planet.
Trust yourself to treat everyone you meet with the same care.
Develop a trusting relationship with yourself, so that you can build trust in your dealings with others. If you trust yourself and listen, you will be more aware if others are trying to do the wrong thing by you, and you can take steps to distance yourself from that.

Once you start listening to yourself and trusting your own voice, your confidence will soar and all sorts of wonderful things will start to happen.
Trust me.

Take Care

I am a woman, and a mother.
That means I am always taking care of others. Which I like to do and it is my job as a mother after all.

And you have probably heard this all before, but it's true: if you don't look after yourself, you can't do a decent job of taking care of your loved ones.

It's so important I can't stress it enough.
YOU are so important. To those who love you, you are their world. They rely on you, so it's your responsibility to make sure you are able to look after them.

To do this you need to take time for you - not just every now and then, but every day. Yes, every single day. No excuses.
If your significant other has a problem with you taking an hour out of each day for yourself, you might want to rethink the dynamics of your relationship.

This is not about being selfish - it's about recharging. No-one can go for days on end without a break, so why should you be expected to?

So take the time to do what is important to you, whether it be meditating, prayer or reading romance novels. It doesn't matter as long as you get something out of it.

I would also add take 30 minutes a day for exercise...it's the best way I know to feel fantastic. Make it something you enjoy, that's easy to incorporate into your daily routine. It could be dancing around the living room with your toddlers or a brisk walk around the neighbourhood.
You don't have to go to the gym, there is a whole world out there where you can work out for free.

The other thing that helps you to feel your best is a good diet. Fruit and vegetables, lean meats and wholegrains make a difference to your wellbeing. You feel lighter when you eat well, less stodgy.

Take a moment to think. Who is looking after you?
No-one?

Then take charge of your own life and look after yourself. You will thank yourself a hundred times over for doing so. You will be happier and healthier and less stressed.
I promise.

Wanting...

Just for fun, I made a "mind movie" the other day.
It works along the same lines as a vision board but more technological!

It was fun to make...and by it's very definition asks that you think about what you want in your life. I'm going to make more - this was a practise one.

If you need more information on these you can go here

And because I have no shame, you can watch my movie too if you are so inclined...

Responsible, Me?

I'm going through a phase right now. It's one that happens on a semi-regular basis with me.

It's called "I don't care much about what you think."

That's people in general, not specifically you!

Let's face it, most people are out for themselves. Which is fair enough, I happen to put myself first too, because if I don't no-one else will.

But every now and then, it kind of irritates me that folks are so self-involved that they couldn't give a hoot about what is happening with their friends, family and neighbours.

It annoys me when individuals say what they want to make themselves feel better, and have no thought about the other person's feelings.

It really irks me that people don't look after themselves (physically or emotionally) then expect those close to them to pick up the pieces.

When these things start crowding in on me, I tend to take a step back and stay away from it. Perhaps I'm overly sensitive, but I believe that we need to take responsibility for everything we do, say and think.

It isn't up to anyone else to make you or I feel good, only we can do that for ourselves.

Let go of blame. Forget thoughts of hate and revenge. They won't help you in the long run you know. Instead, think about what you can do to adjust your thinking, try and change the way you look at a situation, and remember that this is your life, and you get to say what goes.

Start creating your everyday in a manner befitting someone as amazing and individual as you.

You can do it!

The Toughest Job of All

Parenthood.

It's incredibly hard, and incredibly rewarding.
It's where tough love comes into it's own.

It's a job you can't walk away from, no matter how much you need a break.

But I have to say that the older my kids get, the better it gets.
I put in the hard yards when they were little (oh boy did I!).
Give me teenagers any day!

My son is a delightful boy.
My girls are intelligent and beautiful young women. We talk, we laugh and we cry together.

It breaks my heart to see them hurting.

It's hard when your child learns so very young that life is short.
It's not fair that teenagers need to attend their friend's funerals.

To my kids - I love you very much, all the time, no matter what.

Go tell your kids you love them too.

Just Do What You Love!

So what do you think of the "do what you love and the money will follow" line of thinking?


There are many thoughts on this, I know. And almost everyone will have a different answer.

Here's my take.


We pretty much all have to work, yes? (I have thoughts on this too but that's another post). So when you wake up every morning, how do you feel? Excited, happy and motivated?

Or sluggish and dreading the day ahead...


I've been there. In fact I recently left a job purely because I hated it. I Itried to turn around my thinking in regards to the position, but I just couldn't do it. Every fibre of my being was against me.

I believe in taking the time to listen to my inner self - she knows more about me than anyone else around! I don't believe in making myself miserable for a job.

And when it's just a job, then I can do without it. I can make the choice to go without the flashy stuff, because my inner well-being means more to me.
It has taken me some time to reach this stage, and my kids can be quite disagreeable with it. I take the stance, however, that it's not necessarily a bad thing for kids to not get everything they want!

To be perfectly honest with you, I would rather think outside the box on this one. I believe we are here to enjoy ourselves, not work ourselves into the ground because society says so.
If you enjoy your line of work, then life has more flow, and you are happier.

Why wouldn't you do what you love? Why would you continue to do what makes you miserable?
It differs for everyone. I wouldn't expect you to love the same things I do, and I also wouldn't expect you to judge the things I love to do. I'll afford you the same courtesy.

Food for thought.