I'm excavating.

I'm delving way back into the deep dark recesses of my childhood and my mind. Taking responsibility for all that has happened and all that will.

It's not a particularly easy task, yet easier than I expected - I should have done it a long time ago, however perhaps I wasn't quite ready. Now, it seems, I am.

I am discovering things about myself I never dreamed. Not good, not bad. Just me.

I realise there is no one to forgive. All I need to do is take responsibility for my thoughts, conscious and unconscious. They are what formed my life.
The ghosts of my childhood are suddenly understood and it's a relief.

I am all I need. No one else is responsible for my happiness. I am free to be authentic. I can be me. Liberated, unapologetic and fabulous.

Today I believe that if I have the following in my life I have all I need...

Love; red shoes; faded florals; gerberas; the seaside; patchwork quilts; a bathtub to soak in; hot air balloons; scented candles; vintage linens; books; strawberries on french toast; clear blue skies; libraries; cottage gardens; perfume; champagne; Paris and all manner of fripperies and fancies.

I'm re-discovering the things I love haven't changed - the woman who loves them however, is changing rather much for the better.

Falling in love with my authentic self all over again.

I'm feeling a bit "blah" this morning.
Fortunately I know I have a choice these days of whether to continue feeling this way or not. I will choose to feel better - I just have to get up and do something about it!

I think it might be because I have been away from home for so long. I'm a homebody, I love my home, my bed, my kids. I've been away since Dec 21st, and although it's been almost like a holiday I'm so ready for it to be over! Only 2 more days, so I can manage it :)

So for the next two days I'll take advantage of the quiet and having no phone reception, and read, read, read. I've made a decision to read only helpful, positive or motivational books this year, and I think that will make a difference to the quality of my life on a day to day basis.

I'm currently reading The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks, which opening up a whole new perspective for me on the relationships we enter in to. I am getting a lot out of it and it is changing the way I look at people - which means I can make better decisions about those I allow into my life.

Next on the list is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. An amazing book by an amazing man. I have listened to it before, but now I have my own copy to read over and over!
Napoleon Hill is the grand-daddy of all the self-made entrepreneurs around these days. He truly is incredible. Recommended reading!
Interesting things happen when you make the choice to be a positive person.

Your world kind of expands for one. You see more opportunities, you feel more joy, you come into contact with more people, you hear more love.

I guess your awareness expands.

It goes both ways too. You notice when people are being negative. This is something I'd only noticed when it was really bad. You know, when someone was really banging the drum about how sucky their life was.

These days I notice when someone says the littlest thing. I also notice pretty quickly when I am starting to head down that road, which is great, because I can turn the car around before I get stuck in the bitch ditch.

You see, it's all a choice. You can choose how you feel, act or react.
You can choose to feel good, or you can choose to moan and groan about how miserable things are. I don't know about you, but if I'm focused on misery, that's generally how I feel.
When I'm focused on happiness, I feel it.

Sounds simple, and it actually is.
Be aware of your words, and your thoughts. Make it a habit. Hang out with positive people.

Make the choice to feel good, and it won't be long before you feel fantastic!
If I had to pick one trait to work on in my personality for this year, it would be self-discipline. In fact it IS self-discipline.
I've spent too many years making excuses for myself and I'm over it!

I am an intelligent woman who has made some very unintelligent decisions in her life. And it's those decisions that have led me to where I am today, which isn't where I want to be anymore.

I will learn to act, rather than react. I will stand in the Choice Gap before I make decisions from now on. There will be thought put into my life, instead of blindly doing what feels good at the time.
I'm happy to work hard to get what I want. I can forego the instant gratification, and make the decision that will make a positive impact on my life.

There are changes a-coming people. I hope I can inspire you to make the choices that will lead to your best life too!